When I heard that Jason finally came out of the closet I wasn't really surprised….dude you're so gay MY ass hurts. Like one time I asked him, “ Jason, tell me about your first blowjob, what was it like?” And he said “oh man, it tasted awful.” We like hanging out and discussing manly guy stuff. And some people have even suspected we were gay or something. Me and Jason are good friends and we hangout a lot. I got really defensive and was like “You’re suing me for $10,000? Fuck you.you can suck my dick.” and Jason was like, “well OK if you want to settle out of court.” Me and Jason are really good friends but we’ve had our ups and downs, one time Jason actually tried to sue me for $10,000. It’s like a normal church, except you’re happy when the priest fucks you. So he started his own religion: The Church of Latter Day Taints. The church didn’t accept Jason’s gay lifestyle. It’s nice to see the president of the Mahjong Committee here this evening. Jason I dunno where you’re from, but I’m assuming your parents met on a raft. Jason looks like he was adopted by Brad and Angelina. In the Asian culture you’re allowed to abort the fetus until it graduates from medical school. If he starts crying and leaves the party, it’ll take him at least 3 hours to back out of the driveway.īut it’s ok even if you do have an unplanned baby. Hey Jason, why do Asian girls always have small boobs? “Because only A's are acceptable!”īut don’t worry about Jason getting too upset about these Asian jokes, he’ll have time to calm down. Hey Jason, did you hear about that Asian guy that won a beauty contest. Jason so Asian he was adopted by Brad and Angelina. Jason does the worlds hardest job, he’s a police sketch artist in China. Our friend group looks like the first set of workers on the Transcontinental Railroad. Holy crap there’s a lot of Asian’s here tonight. Listening to Jason’s speech tonight answers the question: “What if Hitler only killed all the funny Jews?”īy the way where’s my other Jews at? Oh nice, we’re just two more away from a condo board meeting!īut geez Jason you’re getting fatter by the day. What band are in, “I Want My Nickelback?” And by that I mean he’s a Jew who’s only been nailed three times.īut everyone knows our dear friend Jason, he's like a Jewish rockstar. Of course Jason is the center of attention tonight. When I tried to take out some money, it said, “What did you do with the last $50 I gave you?” This is a very Jewish neighborhood you live in Jason. If I had a mother like that I’d be gay too. But man, your mom nags a lot and can be really challenging and annoying. Jason, I heard in Israel everyone spends Saturday at home with their families? That’s sweet. For example, did you know his Hebrew name is “Yeecchh.” he found out a bunch of new things about his culture. Jason went to Israel for a month to explore his Jewish heritage.
Jason’s so Jewish and so gay at the synagogue they call him a HeBlew. Jason’s so Jewish his tagline on LinkedIn is: “Once you go Jew, no Christian will do.” Jason’s so old and Jewish he attended Shakespeare's bar mitzvah. Welcome to the roast of Jason! My only regret is that Jason’s roast is happening in 2019 in Austin, and not 1945 Germany.
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